Accessing The Parental Mind Through The Heart: A Case Study Review by Bill Hewlett
This piece of research by Bill centres on a real life case study that highlights the effectiveness of child inclusive mediation, even within difficult and complex separations. This article was first published in the Journal of Family Studies, volume 13, 2007, pp. 94-103.
The Jones family (Tobias and Rhia, parents of Durham, 9, and Chrissy,12.) had been embroiled in intense conflict following their separation. Their strained relationship had severe repercussions on their children, leading to Durham describing himself as feeling sad and to blame for his parents conflict, while Chrissy wanted to cut contact with her father, describing feelings of confusion over his anger and inconsistent behaviour towards her.
Despite previous court processes and conventional mediation, the couple remained at odds, with mutual allegations of domestic violence and disputes over child support. The purpose of the child inclusive mediation was to see if it was Chrissy’s genuine intention to cut contact with her father.
Child Inclusive Mediation:
The children were interviewed separately by a child consultant, who used various tools to help them express their feelings and experiences. These included ‘Bear Cards’, ‘Dream Drawings’, and ‘Family Kvebaek Sculpture’. Durham’s responses reflected a desire for everyone to just get along, while Chrissy’s illustrated her deep-seated anger and desire to distance herself from her father.
Key Findings
1. Emotional Impact on Children:
Both Durham and Chrissy showed significant emotional distress due to their parents' conflict. Durham displayed a sense of resignation, while Chrissy expressed frustration and a strong sense of injustice.
The children’s coping mechanisms—Durham’s passivity and Chrissy’s anger—highlighted the damaging effects of ongoing parental disputes.
2. Effectiveness of Child Inclusive Practice (CIP):
CIP successfully brought the children’s perspectives into the mediation process, enabling the parents to understand the emotional toll their conflict was taking on their children.
Involving the children in mediation led to a reduction in parental acrimony, as the parents began to prioritise their children’s needs over their own.
3. Formation of Parental Alliance:
The feedback session facilitated by the child consultant led to the formation of a parental alliance. Tobias and Rhia agreed to engage in more cooperative behaviours to create a more supportive environment for their children.
The parents committed to treating each other with more respect, which helped to alleviate some of the tension between them.
4. Developmental Forecasting:
The consultant employed developmental forecasting to explain how the children’s current coping strategies could negatively impact their future relationships and emotional health.
This insight motivated the parents to adopt strategies that would better support their children’s emotional development.
5. Shift in Blame:
The mediation process facilitated a shift from blaming each other to understanding the systemic issues within their parenting relationship. This allowed Tobias and Rhia to view their past struggles with more empathy and reduced hostility.
By reframing their conflict as a shared challenge rather than a personal failing, the parents became more open to fostering a cooperative relationship.
6. Maintenance of Alliance:
The parents established criteria for maintaining their alliance, focusing on basic emotional needs such as civility, respect, and acknowledgment of each other’s good intentions.
These guidelines helped prevent behaviours that could reignite conflict, ensuring a stable and supportive environment for the children.
7. Positive Outcomes:
Follow-up interviews revealed that the children felt less burdened by their parents' conflict. Chrissy became more open to spending time with her father under certain conditions, while Durham found it easier to express his preferences regarding living arrangements.
The finalisation of a new parenting plan further solidified the parents' commitment to reducing conflict and prioritising their children's well-being.
Closing Reflections
This case study demonstrates the powerful impact of Child Inclusive Practice in transforming high-conflict post-separation family dynamics. By incorporating children's voices into mediation, CIP fosters a parental alliance that prioritises children’s emotional well-being over parental disputes. The structured approach, combined with specialised child consultant techniques and therapeutic interventions, facilitates significant positive changes, enabling parents to establish a cooperative relationship that supports healthier family dynamics and promotes the children’s developmental needs.
You can read the full article here.
Supporting References
The case study is supported by key references that provide the theoretical and methodological framework for Child Inclusive Practice:
Cromwell, R., Fournier, D., & Kvebaek, D. (1980). “The Kvebaek family sculpture technique: A diagnostic and research tool in family therapy.: Jonesboro, TN: Pilgrimage.
McIntosh, J. E. (2003). “Separation Story Stems. Children in focus research project.” (Unpublished Report). Children in Focus Project, Australian Institute for Primary Care, La Trobe University, Melbourne, Victoria.
McIntosh, J.E., & Long, C.M. (2006). “Children beyond dispute. A prospective study of outcomes from child focused and child inclusive post-separation family dispute resolution.” (Final Report). Canberra, ACT: Australian Government Attorney General’s Department.
McIntosh, J., Long, C.M., & Moloney, L. (2004). “Child-focused and child-inclusive mediation: A comparative study of outcomes.” Journal of Family Studies, 10(1), 87-96.
McIntosh, J.E., Wells, Y.D., & Long, C.M. (2007). “Child focused and child inclusive family law dispute resolution: One year findings from a prospective study of outcomes.” Journal of Family Studies, 13(1), 1-21.